Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Good Grief

Lately I've been slacking on both my blogging and my gifts. I have had a lot on my plate lately, and even more recently have been devastated by an unfortunate misunderstanding and lack of trust with someone I love so deeply and sincerely.  I made a foolish decision which sparked the distrust this person had for me, and it has been so hurtful and unbelievable for me.

However heartbreaking this situation is for me, I am using it as blocks for me to climb higher on and am thanking God for this gift. I know that the love I shared with that person was so wonderful and beautiful and true, and I can only be grateful for that. Its not so often we find that and are allowed to experience it, and for a while I was filled with it. What a gift that is!

Sometimes we lose things we love, but we have to know that even the loss itself is a gift. We are put through trials and are broken down so we can rebuild and come out stronger, wiser and more capable of love, giving and humility in the end. We learn from our mistakes and make choices that will help us become better people with more open hearts and more conscious minds. I'm looking forward to learning from the mistakes I have made and making new and healthier decisions for me.

Speaking of making new decisions, I am going to give myself the gift of doing more things that better me as a person. The first thing I am going to do is quit drinking alcohol all together. Even though I don't do it much to begin with, lately its caused me to make unhealthy choices, and I've not been responsible. I don't want to be that person. I am better than that person. In addition to this choice, I am also going to drive the energy I have built up for my sorrows and channel it into working out and volunteering. I'm excited to begin volunteering! There are so many wonderful causes I can get involved with, and I'll be sure to keep you all updated on what I decide to do!

The reason I want to volunteer is because it helps you step outside of yourself, of your own problems, when you give your time and care to someone else. It humbles you and grounds you, causes to see things on a bigger scale and have a clearer mind. These are definitely things I could use right now!

I'll be sure to update. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and to share in my experiences. :-)

Monday, January 18, 2010

Give and Share Love

I've been slacking on the gifts lately. The past few days have been pretty crazy for me, and I've not pushed myself to write or take time to exercise as I should be. However, I have decided to quit something that is hurting me more than helping me, and hope this will increase my energy and make me more active. I'm looking forward to being more productive!

Sometimes, actually a lot of times, people are so kind as to give to me. There are many ways to give to someone, as I've discovered and have explored more recently. Material gifts can say and mean a lot, depending on the relationship with the person and the gift itself. I' had trouble with a family member in the past years, which was troubling and painful, and I prayed for it to be resolved. When I came into contact with that family member recently, I decided it was best to act normal and just give the greatest gift: Love. So I did. And what I got in return was wonderful, unconditional love. I didn't expect it, and was surprised and felt how strong family love is. When I said "I love you" to this person as I was leaving, they looked at me with an expression of surprise, and returned the phrase. Although they were surprised, I could see how happy they were.

And I meant it. I do love that person, and I think its silly and selfish for me to keep that to myself when I can be sharing it with them. After all, Love is truly the greatest gift anyone can give!

Now that's something right there. The gift of love. When you decide to give your love to someone, you have to do it with no stipulations, or else it can't be genuine. Giving love is often difficult, as the emotion is so strong it feels as though it will eat you if its kept to yourself, or you risk the possibility of not having it returned once you give it. That's the thing, though. You can't give love expecting and asking for it in return. You just have to love them for all the reasons you love them, and let them have that love.

Of course, there are times when people stomp on you, manipulate you and take advantage of your love. I've heard people say, and have said myself, that you're wasting your time, energy and emotions on people who do this. In a way I'd say I still believe this, but then again I feel when you love people who are willing and continually hurting you, then you are not loving  yourself, which is most important. If you can give your love to someone with no conditions or expectations, then you have to just leave it as that. Love for them, love for the sake of being love, something wonderful and powerful and joyous to have and to give. Right?

Please, share your thoughts! Oh, and spread the love :-)

Friday, January 15, 2010

Smiles and Dollers

Hey peeps! So, lately I've been trying out giving smiles to people as gifts. Yesterday I gave one to every stranger that came my way whom I made eye contact with, and if I had an interaction with them, I also added the most genuine, "have a great day!" that I could come up with. This is definitely a fulfilling way to give gifts to people! With each smile, I could tell it was brightening up people's day, and it was making me feel better as I did it. I guess the whole endorphin thing that happens when you smile really is true and makes an impact. By the end of the day, which I should mention was a REALLY busy one for me, I felt so light and happy! These are gifts that when given, also give you something back. So with each smile...I was giving to myself!

Today I had another exhausting, busy day. But, I did something for myself, by going to an audition that lasted 2 and a half hours, all of improv, which was so much fun and got me feeling so alive. I absolutely love this work! My gift today was a humble dollar given to a man by the freeway asking for assistance. I actually really like helping out the homeless by giving them some change, they always seem genuinely grateful and often touched. Its pretty cool, actually. I mean, I'm not saying I'm going to go around giving all my monies to all the poorest of the poor - then I'd be right there with them. But, I am saying that its something that I am okay with doing from time to time, when the situation and time is right.

Tomorrow is another really busy day for me, but I'm looking forward to it as I have auditions to go to which I can only be grateful for. Please share your stories with me! All the best :-)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Appreciating What We Have and Giving Love

A day behind....again! But yesterday was another day to remind me of my riches in life. First, I went to work, which I must always remember to be grateful for and when I'm there I try my best to stay positive and enjoy my situation, because there are so many people who don't have jobs! Even though I'm only working there two days a week, its better than not working at all! Afterwards I made it to dance class (barely!) to learn the fox trot, fairly easy compared to the Salsa, not as spicy but still very fun.

 Yesterday, I gave the gift of love.  Probably seems like a cop-out, but it came from a genuine, giving place, which is what this giving journey is all about. I expressed my appreciation for someone I love very much and who gives me wonderful, good love.  And don't we know that love is the best gift anyone can give!

My gift to myself yesterday was the time I spent with the person who loves me. Being with someone who loves you truly and cares for you is really an amazing gift, and should never be taken for granted!

Today I'm working on lots of little gifts. I'm giving the gift of smiles all day to strangers everywhere. Don't you think that if everyone did that, the world would be a little cheerier? :-)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Yay for Friends!

Oh man, I was a lucky girl today! I got the gift of friendship in large amounts! First, I went to dance class today (today was TANGO!) which was awesome. Next, I met up with my friend Jenna for a hike, and we made it to the top as the sun was setting, which was fantastic. This was my gift to myself.

After the hike I ran home for a quick bite before heading off to my friend's apartment who was not feeling so well yesterday and today. She said she felt better, and seemed okay, but I brought her some vitamin drink with vitamin C, as my gift to someone else for the day. At least I can try to help, right?

Its always awesome to spend time with people you care about. I leave feeling filled with blessings, rich with love. Even though I have my struggles in life, I have so much love, so much genuine love. And its amazing!

Why We Must Give to Ourselves

I wanted to say something about why I feel its important to give to yourself everyday. You may already see reasons, but I want to clarify a few things.

First, I should again be clear that this gift to yourself is not necessarily a material gift, not a new shirt just for the fun of it, but something that contributes to your overall well being, your betterment. Why I see the importance of this daily gift comes from a time in my life 2 years back when I was dealing with some difficult issues and became very ill. In order to get better, I did a lot of searching for myself and took time off in order to take care of my mind and body and become a healthy person that would stay healthy. Some days, I would sleep almost the whole day. Other days I would do more. But every day I was recovering, I made a point to do one thing for myself every day, one thing that would help me and humble me at the same time. Most of the time, this one thing ended up being yoga. Yoga helped me think outside of myself, out of my own problems, and find a peace with my body and mind in this world. It helped quiet me. And as I was doing it, I became healthier, physically and mentally. Some days were harder than others to get myself moving and do this one thing, others I was excited to. But once I was doing it, I always felt the same sense of healing and peace.

I hope you wil consider the power of giving to yourself, and discover how it can be simultaneously fulfilling and humbling. Please share with me your journey!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Giving Time

Every day I thank the highest power of Love for all the wonderful gifts I have in my life, and I am often overwhelmed with the incredible joy of having people who love you. And I also notice that the more I give my love to others, the more I get it back, genuinely. Which is a big part why I am making this conscious decision to GIVE every day. I already am seeing changes!

My gift today was time spent with a friend. Make that quality time. A friend of mine texted me asking if I wanted to meet up in the evening, and I figured it would be a good opportunity for me to give my time and energy to my friend for a little time. I stayed longer than I expected and it turned out to be a gift for myself as well! I had a great time milling around with him, and then having a wonderful, rich and open conversation. My gift to him was also my gift to myself!

As I'm doing this, some days I get worried I won't have time to give. But then I remember when I was reading about the 29 days of giving, how the gifts can be as small as a hug or a smile or a phone call, as long as they come from a giving place. I'm seeing how being conscious about giving is helping me see people more, notice them more and look at them with a more open-heart. People I may not have noticed before I'm looking at and feeling their energy. It's definitely allowing me to connect better with those around me - something I'm always happy to grow on!

I hope you guys who are reading are thinking more about giving in your life and will take the 29 day challenge. Also, give to yourself. And let the gifts come from love!

All the best :-)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Prayer as Gifts

So now I'm behind a day on my blogging...so I will start off first by saying what I did yesterday. My gift to someone else was a prayer, a prayer I prayed out loud to God. I'm finding that when I pray out loud, things are clearer, and I feel more meaning in my own words. Does that make sense? I also prayed for myself. That was my gift for myself.

Today, my gifts were the same as yesterday's. I prayed both for myself, and for someone I love so much. Although I'm going to try and expand my giving, I'm seeing how incredible daily prayer is, and how powerful it is to pray out loud. It separates what you want to say and ask from the constant run-ons in your mind. Gives you a chance to hear clearly what it is you are saying to God.

I know my blogging has been short recently, but I'll expand soon. I've been busy and finding time to write is difficult, as I want my writings to be honest and that takes peace and time. If you are on a giving journey, please share with me!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Bad Days and Good Repairs

This was a rough day for me, but rather than crying to you, virtual people, I'd like to say how it helped me learn about myself.

This morning I was not feeling well, and the rest of the day continued as so. I tried a few different methods to feel better, but nothing was working. So, for my gift to myself today, I went into the dance studio to practice the cha cha and salsa, and worked out while doing so. I began to feel better and see things more clearly. I began to relax and was able to look at things from a different perspective, and left feeling more level-headed and not so, well, icky.

I gave a man who is homeless and ill a dollar today as my gift. He is always lingering outside the restaurant where I work, and he's very intelligent and clearly educated, but obviously can't take care of himself. This was the first day I gave him any money, and it seemed like the right time.

Sometimes we don't feel well, but its the healing process that teaches us how to be right again, and how to make it last. :-)

Blessings :-)

Wow today was exhausting and so much fun. I had a wonderful morning with my wonderful boyfriend, a gift in itself, then spent quality time writing before heading out on a hike with my friend Dan, a gift to myself for the day. Later on my way to dance lessons, I gave a homeless man 50 cents. Not much, but he seemed very grateful and thanked me repeatedly, and assured me he'd spend it on food. It was a gift, not of my concern when it left my hand, so its his choice what he spends it on.

Small gifts today, but already I'm starting to see the kindness returned. Today, two strangers gave me little gifts, and also were generous with their compliments.

It really is a wonderful life.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Giving Thanks and Support

My gift to another person today was support I gave to four of my friends. I'm happy I can be there for them!

For myself, I did 15 minutes of impromtu yoga - it was so refreshing! My body always feels leaner and healthier afterwards, and I feel like I've gained a little mental peace.

I know this is short so keeping it sweet. I hope you all have a wonderful night. Be sure to give thanks for all the wonderful gifts you have!

Beautiful start to a Beautiful day!

Hello! The day has just begun here in Los Angeles and so far it is another beautiful one! I am giving thanks for living here in sunny LA with all the incredible opportunities around me. There are so many things I have done here and a million more I have yet to do. It is a great feeling! Give thanks for where you are today. Even if you generally don't like it, there are always things to appreciate that you may have overlooked.

This morning I watched the band Links play on KTLA (check them out at www.myspace.com/linksband), and wanted to share their music with you. They are incredible! I've seen them play many times here in LA, and they put on an awesome show. They're all really great guys in addition to being so talented. It was a great way to start my morning to wake up with Links!

I have a busy day today, but still fully intend to keep up with my gifts. I'm hoping to go for a bolder gift today, but we'll see how it unfolds. For myself, I am going to LA Casting to finally sign up for Extra work, something I've been meaning to do for ages!

I'll update later! Love

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

2010 Goals and Taking Steps

So today I read over the 29 gifts website a bit (www.29gifts.org), and was reading about being mindful of giving to others each day. Having this on me early in the morning, I set out thinking about ways to give to someone without 1.costing me money (my finances don't lend me the luxury) or 2.making an effort so big that its false. So, I let my day unfold fairly naturally, all the while keeping my eyes open for an opportunity for me to give. I finally had the chance when I was getting into my car after dance class tonight in West Hollywood. My car was parked in a great spot right off of Santa Monica Blvd, and at the time I was leaving class about 7, it was nearly impossible to find a spot. A woman shouted to me as I was getting in my car, asking if I would wait to leave so she could take my spot. I almost didn't hear her, but stopped myself to gather what she was asking before saying "yes" and waiting for her to pull up next to me. A perfect opportunity to give a stranger the coveted spot. Maybe it was a small gift, but it was still a gift!

Thats something to think about. The size of the gift. The size doesn't really matter, its the process of giving that is the true focus. On the site 29 gifts, founder Cami Walker says you can give away anything you want. Something as small and simple as a smile, as long as it comes from an authentic place of wanting to give.

For myself, today I began my first ballroom dance lesson! I got a scholarship for a month of dance classes, learning dances like the basic waltz, salsa, tango, flamenco and so on. I'm so excited! I love dancing and have always wanted to learn the spicier side of it. It was definitely a way to better myself, as I got my body moving and working and had some fun.

I'd like to share my list of goals for the year. I think writing down goals is important, at least for me, and definitely effective. If you have them in front of you constantly, you are always reminded of them and make more of a conscious effort to achieve them, even if you take baby steps to get there. Also, that way you have the satisfaction of crossing them off when you accomplish one! So I made myself a list of things I want to accomplish, do, or acquire in 2010 and here they are (in no particular order):

- Publish a poem in a literary journal/magazine
- Get a commerical agent
- Be able to run 2 miles without stopping
- Be able to do 25 full pushups (in a row!)
- Pay back a friend :-)
- Pay off my credit card bill
- Start comedy troupe
- Learn my favorite Chopin piece onthe piano
- Write a musical

Some of these things may seem silly to you, like running 2 miles or 25 pushups or writing a musical, but they are things I want to do for me that I've struggled with or have been meaning to do and I know this is the year I can and WILL succeed with them.

I'd love to hear your goals and the things you do for yourself and for others to better you and the world.

Much love!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Bettermint Beginnings

I would first like to start by giving my gratitude for stopping by my new site devoted to self betterment through selflessness and positive self-giving. I have decided to give myself the challenge of making myself a better person by giving one thing selflessly to another each day, and by doing one thing for myself every day. Now to be clear, the thing for myself must be something healthy (either healthy for my physical self or my mental self) that contributes to my personal betterment as a person. This could be something as simple as going for a calming walk, going on a jog, teaching myself how to cook something new and healthy, or even learning something new about how to make the world a better place, perhaps by reading an article or watching a documentary. The thing I do for others is something selfless and can be for a stranger, a friend, a member of my family, my boyfriend, anyone as long as it is a gift in someway. The idea of giving came from the 29-Day Giving Challenge, founded by Cami Walker, which you yourself can go and sign up for at http://www.29gifts.org. I just signed up!

To start off my new journey, I began the day by doing some light yoga, stretching myself and letting my circulation get revved up for the wonderful day ahead of me. I felt lean and peaceful when I was finished - a great gift to myself!

The thing I gave to someone else today was a phone call to a friend I haven't seen in a while who lives in New York City. I ended up leaving a message, but told her I loved her and that I hoped she would have a wonderful day. A little gift, but I know it would make her smile!

And thus my self-challenge begins and I am so excited! Tomorrow I will post my list of goals for the year and how I plan to accomplish each one. I hope people will share things they do for others and take the 29 day challenge of Giving with me!

Love&Peace